© Copyright 2005 Bill Nesbitt

May 23, 2005 — Got to join in at the Journey Church in West LR Sunday last ... message was about being a citizen of Heaven — not when I die, but right now, a la Philippians 3:20. Really considering that passage made me think about the way I live out my daily life. What would my life look like if I really took seriously the idea that my life in Heaven is now and death is merely a continuation of it? How would I think differently about things like career, life, death, sin...? How would my attitudes change?

May 26, 2005 — I'm finding that God's presence can be found in as simple an act as opening my Bible and reading — that is, if my heart is in a place of seeking His face and listening for His voice. If I'm seeking a word from God, where better to start than the Word of God? These can be the sweetest times of meditation, when I open up the Word, read, digest, pray it back to Him, listen for His voice speaking back to me through the printed words on a page. It can be an amazing thing. So readily available, yet so seemingly difficult at times.

God, let me not forget Your Word, that You wait for me there within the pages. May Your Spirit lift the word off the pages and apply them to my life. Amen.

June 1, 2005 — Something about being part of a group and seeking God's presence together... Jesus said that whenever two or three would gather in His name, there He would be in their midst. There's a certain Presence of God to be found in a group setting that I cannot experience by myself. All my life my default setting has been "Lone Ranger" with only brief periods when I actually made it a priority to get together with other believers. Then it was mostly to listen to a lesson, participate in a discussion and pray with others. My mind told me that all this was stuff I could do by myself just as well. Only more recently do I realize the difference found in experiencing God in a group setting — how indispensable that is to my life. God manifests Himself differently in the group than He does to me individually. Something about a group ... different people with different lives, experiences, levels of spiritual development, all contributing in different ways. And if I'm looking and listening, I can experience God's presence not only in the prayer and worship, but in the discussion and fellowship as well.

I suppose the particular group I'm in right now has something to do with this, since we all seem to share a common quest for a deeper day-to-day relationship with God.

Thank You God for the small group I'm in now and the touch of Your hand I've experienced as part of that group. If at some future point I find myself without that group, please don't let me shy away from finding (even forming) another band of believers wherein Your presence can be experienced. Amen.

June 3, 2005 — Luke 23 tells of the womenfolk of Jerusalem weeping over Jesus as he is led toward Golgotha. Jesus tells them not to weep for Him but for themselves, and foretells hard times ahead for them. Then He says something interesting: "for if these things are done when the tree is green, what will happen when it is dry?" If these things can happen (i.e., the most completely innocent person in history being put to a brutal, absurd death on a cross for no apparent reason whatsoever) when the tree is green, what will happen when the tree is dry?

I see several layers of meaning in this. First, the tree was green because the Son of God dwelt in human form on earth. He would soon depart, after which things would change dramatically. Second, things were actually going relatively well for the Jews at this time inasmuch as the political situation was generally quiet. There were no major wars going on, and if you kept your head low, paid the confiscatory taxes and didn't make trouble you could lead a decent life. The tree was green; by AD 70 it would go dry and the Jews would be scattered.

The third level would apply to me personally. The tree is most definitely green for me as I write this. I live a life of peace and comfort, as do most of the people I know. Yet consistently living a life that is pleasing to God is consistently difficult for me. If the tree were to dry up through financial ruin, sickness, or other misfortunes, how much more difficult would it become for me?

Fourthly, I look at the nation in which I live. Never in the history of the world has there been a greener time for a nation than America enjoys now. It is easy to profess Christ in the nation in which I live and still enjoy all the gentle peace and prosperity both offer. If it is difficult for me to openly profess Christ in this soft environment, how much more difficult will it be when the environment hardens around me? And I think it will harden. I think the political movement to bring America "Back to God" will eventually have a slingshot effect and harden the hearts of those in power toward Christ and Christians.

God, You are sovereign. You control the times and seasons. Teach me how to make the best of the green season and prepare for the dry times to come. Amen.

June 6, 2005 — Evan is doing the same thing I did when I was his age — learning entire record albums by ear. But whereas I learned on guitar from vinyl discs with relatively simple songs by Cat Stevens, James Taylor and the like, he is learning more complex songs by the likes of Nickel Creek and Relient K and playing the bass. But the basic concept is the same: the ear hears the chords change and the hand changes accordingly. Then when the song is learned, the musician puts his own personal stamp on the song and makes it his very own.

Evan is a different person than I am. Though he possesses many of the same talents I do, he will inevitably use them differently than I have. It's not my job to make him into a clone of myself. It's my job to guide him along and eventually make music with him — my guitar to his bass.

My times with God have been very sweet lately, but too few and far between. Today's random opening of the Bible landed on Isaiah 49 where God tells me He called me from birth and knew my name even before I was born. He says to me, "You, Bill, are my servant and you will bring me glory." I repled, "But my work all seems so useless! I have spent the last twenty years for nothing and to no purpose at all. Yet I leave it all in the Lord's hand; I will trust God for my reward."

Then the Lord replied: "At just the right time, I will respond to you. On the day of salvation, I will help you."

O God, I praise You for holding my life in the palm of Your hand, much like I held my children when they were first born. I trust You to teach me at the right time all I need to know. I leave it in Your hands. Amen.

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